im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
