I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
