Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize