You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
