I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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