I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
