i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I should be sponsored by Trojan
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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