ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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