Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
MIDGETS
????
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
