This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
