Here's a though. Go to the news stand. Pick up a newspaper. Give the man behind it 50 cents. Go home. Open newspaper. Read newspaper.
Or even easier: Pick up remote. Turn on TV. Turn to a news channel. Watch news.
You don't even have to get off your fucking fat ass either, which is a plus. We wouldn't want you to get out of breath by walking the 2 feet to your TV controls.
Easier than destroying your liver.
Oh the point of that was to get a fucking life, you asshat.
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