Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
