Jerry, you need to find god
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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