i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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