my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
