so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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