at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Damn victory sex feels great
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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