My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
