I'm laying in your front yard are you home
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
