Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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