Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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