And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You did what with his pubic hair?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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