I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
