I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You pole danced in your parka.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
