First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
