i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
