Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
