Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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