he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
