Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I need moral support for this bender
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
