I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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