Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
