Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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