...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
