she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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