I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
