Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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