Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
