I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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