soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
