We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
