I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
