There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize