dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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