so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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