Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
