I heard we made out
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
