would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
