I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
