I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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