why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
