God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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