Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
