Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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