She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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