This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
