# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
