I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
A bitchslap is in order.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
