The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize