I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My dick has a subreddit
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
