i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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