i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
