Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He kissed a someone with a penis
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
