I just threw up on my dentist
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
