Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize