And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
