What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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