get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
