drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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