let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize