oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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