Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
