There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
