my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We left an ass print on the piano.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
