Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
