Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
