Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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