Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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