JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
