she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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