We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
